Do you allow others and situations in your life to dictate how you feel, respond, and react to the world around you?
I’ll be frank. I certainly do.
It’s how I was wired.
No, that’s not an excuse. It’s the truth.
I was trained to react in a 0-100 sort of fashion.
Nothing to be proud of.
Years spent in therapy trying to “undo” and retrain.
It isn’t easy. I practice.
I have my toolbox but still struggle at times.
I give my power away to knuckleheads and low-vibration humans when they assert themselves unkindly.
I feel the need to get defensive.
It’s a protective mechanism that has developed over time.
Over many circumstances when I bit my tongue and took shit.
From grade school bullies to toxic af bosses.
To moments in time that I will never forget.
Moments that still fill me with rage when I recall them.
How can we take back our power?
Practice.
A lot of practice.
For me, filling my cup looks like coming outside immediately upon waking in the early morning.
To be with nature and the still of the day and have writing time.
Quiet time.
That really fills my cup.
So do other things, of course.
But that would have to be my number one.
To anger Eckhart Tolle…
I read a story once about a man who intentionally tried to get a rise out of Eckhart Tolle while they drove on the same road. Eckhart is a philosophical leader. His teachings focus on the power of NOW, embracing one’s presence in the human form. …Living in a state of being that transcends the ego.
The man in the story described his interaction with Tolle. As he watched him in his review mirror, anticipating some sort of response, he was met with a peaceful demeanor, unchanged from the prior moment.
So, what is it that Tolle knows that the average person doesn’t?
He knows how to separate himself and his emotional state of being from the world around him.
That all events are neutral by nature. We, as humans are the ones who add meaning to them, good or bad.
Everything is perspective.
Each moment in time in space knows no bias, favors not one.
We just exist and react and respond in a way we have been taught is appropriate.
For me, that means giving my power away more often than I’d like to admit.
But even so, I’ve come a very far way.
There have been times I haven’t reacted at all to personal triggers.
Times when I have been able to “brush things off,” remain unaffected and at peace, or simply not care about an event which, in the past may have caused me grief.
How did I do that?
Practice.
Patient practice with myself.
Finding ways to forgive myself when I react unkindly to the world.
Taking time to practice self-care even when I don’t feel like I have the time or even deserve to.
Setting boundaries and sticking with them, even when they aren’t well-received.
And understanding that others’ perception of me is truly none of my business.
So tell me, how do you fill your cup? Practice patience in an unforgiving world?
And remain unaffected by conditions?
Wonderful post, Susie. I loved the idea of living in the present. Probably the most wonderful and simple advice...
Setting boundaries is hard in the short term but SO worth it! Great post.